I slid into the booth at Biaggi’s for a meant-to-be monthly (which usually becomes-quarterly) dinner to catch up with two friends. Running late seems to be part of life as a transit commuter, so they were already a glass of wine ahead of me. I no more sat down when one turned to me in a frustrated tone, “You have got to write something on being fragmented!” She sighed and we dove into deep story about how she was feeling yanked in so many different directions.
Her question (and request) stuck with me. “How do we be less fragmented?” We can feel fragmented when we do and do, without a deeper connection to self. It is chaos without flow: it feels purposeless. Feeling fragmented can often add another layer of stress to our lives. After months of pondering this question, I had not arrived at an “Aha!” moment, nor had any answer that felt satisfying, there was however a lovely movement happening in my friend.
This week we saw each other and of course took a dive right into life. She told me of coming off of a recent retreat wondering if she needed to make a change in her life. She loves many elements of her present work and yet the position also pulls her into many areas that do not give her life meaning, and frankly, drain her energy. She is considering taking time away from her work to discern if she needs to move to a different path.
I commented that during her retreat she seemed to find part of the answer to being fragmented. She looked at me surprised and a bit confused. She had not remembered making the comment months ago and yet her soul had heard her frustration and was working out the request completely under the radar. The retreat, full of silence, creativity, and nature was a perfect place for the answer to be revealed to her.
There are times in life we feel fragmented. We have chaotic seasons, like when we are raising children, however in all of it, there is a purpose – to get your kids to adulthood. sOther times we can get caught in saying – “Yes” when we might have said – “No,” of allowing things to become part of our schedule without a second thought of what those “yeses” may bring with them into our life. Then there are the times where something that was once purposeful and life giving has run its course. We stay involved because, after all, we have “always done it this way.” The outcome can leave us feeling empty, purposeless and fragmented.
This week’s invitation is to assess your schedule. What is one thing you can change to daily or weekly experience that would offer less chaos and more cohesion? Is there a meeting to cancel? A committee from which you can exit? Do the things you include in your life exhibit your values or the voice of guilt? Stop and take a deep breath. Is there something that is draining your energy from which you can let go? Listen to your deep self. Find a quiet place. Be silent. Choose one thing. Let it go. Release.
Create the weekend you want to experience.