A couple of months ago my husband experienced a winter blizzard crash and dash. Coming out of work he noticed his well-loved truck that had been sitting in a safe and secure parking slot bashed in and effectively totaled. After the first level of mourning subsided, “Get another vehicle” was added to our already long “to-do” list. A week of slamming doors, kicking tires and experimenting through lots of snow, we drove home with a new-to-us vehicle.
When I get in a not-yet-known-to-me vehicle, one of the the first thing I like to do is flip on the radio. The channels buttons selected give me an inside look at who was in the car before me. Would they be set to a Pop station or Country? NPR or Talk radio? Hard rock or Jazz? Usually the stations set to the buttons are not the same as what I would choose. And because I am not a fan of trying to figure out how to re-set the buttons, I often ignore the pre-selection and spin the dial to my own favorites.
We have all had partners/children/roommates whose taste in music has been different from our own. Perhaps it can be most obvious when we are cleaning the house with the music blaring, or on a road trip, stuck in a car with unwanted ear worms forming in our brain. Our choices? We either endure, request a change, or we change the channel our self.
A similar thing happens in the brain. Imagine internal radio stations playing in your head. The selections are many, and often ones we would not choose. There is the station that plays “You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you…” or there is the one that laments “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me.” Your repetitive mind channel might be replaying, “I’m a Loser” or “You ain’t enough baby.” The phrases run over and over for so long that eventually the we stop hearing them, yet continue to respond to the lyrics.
It is time to change the channel.
What internal radio stations play in your mind? Most likely they have been pre-set by our family of origin, culture, or playground mantras and have been on repeat in the background of our minds from before we can remember. This week pay special attention to the thoughts flowing through your day. Are they the lyrics you want to hear? Do they nourish your soul and direct your being to where you want to go? Or do they set you on a harmful path that create obstacles to what you really want? It may be time to change the channel.
When an old station plays, notice it and change the lyrics. “You are not a good parent/employee/spouse” becomes, “I am enough.” Practice this now, don’t wait until the lyrics become too loud to think. Create a response now, because the next time the old song plays, you will be ready with the truth. You are capable. You are good at what you do. You are truly enough. And, you are greatly loved.
Spin the dial, find a new favorite and choose your own station.